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The Book of Jez 4. Jeremy's enemies see their doom.

4. The raven haired witch Kendall shrieked and rent her garments in fury. The cheek of it! First the left-wing press, or what remained of it, dismissed her as a Tory cross-dresser. Then the misogynist Tories wrote her off as a serial loser and now they were asking about her weight. How dare they? When did they ever ask a male candidate such personal questions? Anyway she was a dedicated follower of the Fearnley-Whittingstall low carb snail porridge diet. Before that she was a long-term user of the Jamie Oliver school lunch plus regime. She had nothing to fear from their questions. Vile scum. She would ban such questions when she was elected supreme leader. She would impose strict quotas on male journalists and their impertinent interview techniques. Only leftish female journalists would be allowed to interview leftish female candidates asking only leftish female questions. Smelly overweight male journos would have to retrain as burger flippers on zero hours contracts at Wimpey, cooki…